•Pastor BISI ADEWALE Reveals
Someone sent this story some time ago:
‘’A father said to his daughter, “You have graduated with honours, here is a car I bought many years ago. It is a bit older now but before I give it to you, take it to the used car lot downtown and tell them you want to sell it and see how much they offer you for it.”
The daughter went to the used car lot, returned to her father and said, “They offered me $1,000 because they said it looks pretty worn out.”
The father said, now “Take it to the pawnshop.” The daughter went to the pawnshop, returned to her father and said, “The pawnshop offered only $100 because it is an old car.”
The father asked his daughter to go to a car club now and show them the car. The daughter then took the car to the club, returned and told her father, “Some people in the club offered $100,000 for it because it’s a Holden Torana and it’s an iconic car and sought by many collectors.”
Now the father said this to his daughter, “The right place values you the right way,” If you are not valued, do not be angry, it means you are in the wrong place where they don’t know your value. Those who know your values are those who will appreciate you. You can only prosper where you are valued. Never stay in a place where no one sees your value.’’
One of the major reasons why marriages suffer as couples age is that they start taking each other for granted and stop placing value on each other and their union. Marriage glitters when couples place value on each other and their union. It flutters and suffers when couples begin to take each other for granted, treating each other like trash.
If we all pay attention to our spouses in marriage as we did when we were courting, there won’t be a single divorce case in court. If we value each other the way we did before marriage, every marriage will be heaven on earth. If we place great value on spending time together as we did when we were dating, all turbulence in marriage would have gone to an end, and every marriage will be in a perpetual honeymoon.
“Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves’ eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead. Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee.” Song of Solomon 4:1 KJV
When you place great value on your spouse, you will see less and less error, but you will see his or her strengths, gifting, etc.
HOW TO VALUE YOUR SPOUSE
• Say it: Let your spouse know you value him or her, say it out.
• Show it to the world: Treat your spouse with honour and respect in the public.
• Spend time with him or her: You can’t say you value your spouse if you don’t spend time together, create time to be with your spouse.
• Make your spouse your number one after God.
• Keep secrets: Never reveal any secret about your spouse to anybody; it is not honourable to do that.
• Create boundaries: Let friends and family members around you know their limits. Lots of people don’t build boundaries, and this ends up hurting their marriage later.
• Build walls: You also need to build walls against some people. You need to go beyond building boundaries. Build walls against your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, against people that hate your spouse, people that hate marriage, people that encourage you to commit adultery, etc.
• Be faithful: Be faithful to your spouse; in words, in deeds, financially and sexually.
• Give gifts: Surprise your spouse with gifts always. Giving unsolicited gifts is a way to show that you care and honour your spouse.
• Be a caregiver: Be committed to caring for your spouse, be caring, be loving.
• Call home when away: If you value your spouse deeply, you won’t leave the house and not look back. Give details, when going out.
• Celebrate birthdays: Kings and queens’ birthdays are meant to be celebrated. So always celebrate your spouse’s birthday the way that matches royalty.
• Celebrate anniversaries: Wedding anniversaries must never be forgotten. Celebrate the day that brought that King or Queen into your life. That is value.
• Appreciate services and sacrifice: Get to appreciate the sacrifices and services of your Queen and King, never take it for granted. Recognize them, appreciate them and reward them.
• Be Loyal: Be loyal to your spouse in everything you do. It is a sign of disloyalty to speak about your spouse what you can’t say before him or her. Be loyal; loyalty shows value.
• Be committed: Be committed to your marriage. Spend on it, spend time at home, this shows value.
• Be kind and loving: Kindness shows value, be kind to your spouse, with kind words, thoughts, and acts.
• Be romantic: Be romantic; play with your spouse, be creative about it, be taken, and be childlike.
• Give attention to sex for your spouse: Get your bedroom warmed. Be explosive in the bedroom. Be involved and be creative; that shows value.
Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 100 other books on marriage and family life. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter @bisiadewale or reach him on askbisiadewale@gmail.com , 08068312004, and blogs daily on www.bisiadewale.com
