On Saturday, December 10th, 2016 an event tagged: “Nordica Open Forum” was held in Lagos with the theme, “Sex And Infertility” where Mrs. Oluranti Tolani Ajayi, a Sex Therapist and Sexologist, Clinic Manager and wife of Dr Abayomi Ajayi, the Managing Director of Nordica Fertility Centre, Lagos, held her audience spellbound with her presentation on Sex and Infertility. The event which took place at the Protea Westwood Hotel, Ikoyi, Lagos had the slogan; “Come Learn How You Can Keep the Spark In Your Life Even While Trying For a Baby”.
Tolani, who rose from a humble background to become an epitome of efficiency and who, cannot be ignored by any one who values professionalism is also the brain behind ‘The Body Art’ , a body enhancement surgery concept, spoke on a number of Sex and Infertility issues. City People brings you excerpts of her presentation and the interview we had with her.
Mrs . Ajayi started with what Sex is all about and its impotence in a couple’s marriage, the Dos and Don’ts of Sex in a relationship /marriage. Tolani Ajayi, is a Certified Sexologist or a Sex Therapist and she has made it her mission to help men and women in Nigeria and around the world to overcome their sexual problems, such as Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation and Loss of Libido (loss of sexual desire). Hear her:
“My team and I at the Nordica Fertility Centre are fully qualified sexologists and sex therapists and have helped more than 1500 men and women of all ages to start enjoying a happier and sexually-fulfilling life that they never thought possible. Almost all sex- related problems are treatable through the right combination of counseling, medication and in some rare cases surgery (Phalloplasty, Penile Implant, Vaginoplasty, Hymnoplasty).
“Unfortunately, the majority of people who suffer from sexual problems do so in silence and never sought help of a sexologist and medical professionals. The result is ruined relationships, divorce, loss of self confidence and self esteem and increased level of stress. This is totally AVOIDABLE.
“We at Nordica Fertility Centre understand that talking about and seeking a solution for your sex-related problem can be embarrassing and intimidating and that is why we promise you 100% GAURANTEE Of YOUR PRIVACY. Your details will NEVER be shared with any 3rd party.
“The unique blend of therapy and counseling that we have developed and perfected during the last 10 years of our practice will ensure that:
You and your partner can start enjoying sex as never before! (All your doubts and frustrations will disappear and you will emerge as a new and fully confident person)
“You will be able to transform your relationship into a deep lasting and a passionate one.
You will not suffer any side effects usually associated with the use of certain medications for the treatment of sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction.
“Quick consultation turnaround time means that you can get your problem diagnosed and resolved very fast and be on your way to enjoying great sex with your partner soonest.
“So get your Consultation right now to get rid of all your stress, resentment and hurt that you feel owing to sex-related problems and start on a new journey of sexual freedom and intimacy with your spouse.”
Dr. Tolani Ajayi spoke on how to reverse Low Sperm Count and Improve Male Fertility…
According to her, Low sperm count and infertility in men are more prevalent than most couples think. People tend to think that if a woman is not getting pregnant the fertility issue must be with the woman, but that is not necessarily always the case.
There is an equal chance that male factor infertility can be the cause of a couple’s difficulty in achieving pregnancy. While women have many tests to try to find out the cause of infertility, men have only a couple, the sperm analysis being the easiest.
If you have been trying to get pregnant for more than a year, make sure that both of you go and do infertility test.
The results of a good test would be a sperm count of 20 million or more sperm with healthy mobility and morphology. Suboptimal levels are less than 20 million sperm. If you find that your sperm levels are low or are having issues with motility or morphology, this article will share with you some natural therapies you can use to help improve on sperm count and health.
CAUSES OF LOW SPERM COUNT
There are many potential causes of low sperm count and male infertility. Fortunately, we have control over them by reducing exposure to them.
Do you think it is proper to start giving Lecture on how to have good sex life in public as a true African woman?
If people are not talking about sex, there are no ways you can achieve good relationships in marriage. It is important we talk about it ,and we know that in Nigeria, it is almost a taboo to discuss sex. Why are we interested in talking about sex? We have come to realise that in dealing with infertility issues sex must come in. Let me tell you something whenever we are dealing with infertility issues and we have the couple seated and we ask them how many times they have sex in a week. You would see them staring at eachother. Some will tell you point blank that they don’t have sex again. This is not good for young couple. We always tell them that infertility should not be an issue that will cause separation it home. Some people are into relationships but because of religion, they can’t have sex. What if they encounter sexual problems in their marriage what advice would you give to such couple? I think couples should talk about what issues they have with a consultant before marriage. If they do not want to have sex before marriage, there is no problem about that. I believe it will be bad for someone not to tell his/her partner about his problems. I think such a person will be committing a bigger sin.I have witnessed a scenario where a man is largely impotent yet he went on to marry.
What of situations where the pastor endorses such a marriage?
I really do not want to dabble into religion because to some persons they believe what their pastors say and cling to religion even when things are not right. In life religion has a role to play likewise medicine. My advice is that couples who have problems should visit a therapist before getting married.
What is your take on Female circumcision?
It is not good at all, it takes the sensation away, the clitoris they cut makes sensation, during sex possible. These people sometimes cut off a larger chunk of the clitoris. The woman might have desire for sex, but arousal is not there. Sometimes this can dampen or reduce a woman’s sexual desire it does affect it in a big way.
Can this be corrected?
Sure it can be corrected if need be.
How do you see masturbation?
Masturbation is advised in some cases, it is not a taboo medically, it can only become a problem if the man or woman cannot do without it in a day. It leads to pre-mature ejaculation when you are doing it with your wife because the system is used to quick ejaculation.
Did you say different sex positions boost fertility?
No I didn’t say that , it can help prevent quick ejaculation, it also improves couple’s sex life. I t does not have to be missionary style all the time, different styles help correct erectile dysfunction.
Please tell us how important sex is?
Sex is very important, it is a natural instinct, the Quoran and Bible accept it. It should be discussed in case of problems. You talked about sex toys, what of couples whose religions do not accept that ?
That is why I said I do not want to discuss religion, as a couple you do what you think is right. Some people do not even know what their pastors are doing at home,I listened to a pastor and he said someone was complaining that he fights with his wife at home, then he said who does not fight his wife at home. Do whatever pleases you as long as it is legal, If there is a need for sex toys please use them.
Is sex education good, should parent engage their children in sex education?
It is good, as a father you should discuss it with your sons. Parents should try to discuss it with their children because sometimes ignorance can destroy the children.They can learn it at school and get to indulge in it and still hide it from the parents.So, if you tell them about it and tell them what not to do , unwanted pregnancies will be reduced.
Do you recommend oral sex for couples?
As a sex therapist I say yes, it is okay to have oral sex, so long as it is between a married couple who have been tested.
