- Speaks On New Life @ 60
Mrs. Shade Bareehu Ashafa is the pretty wife of a popular Lagos politician, Senator Bareehu Ashafa, representing Lagos East Senatorial District. This pretty and highly reserved woman of substance and her husband have been married for 38 years and still counting. Their marriage has been a good example to many Nigerian couples who either admire them on how they have been able to conduct themselves despite being public figures.
Mrs. Shade Ashafa hardly attend parties except in the arms of her husband. The petite woman with flawless skin, who attributes her good look to happiness from within, broke protocol last week when she attended City People Award for Excellence alone to pick up her husband’s award as the Senator of the Year. She was the cynosure of all eyes in a simple African attire. She didn’t look 60.
Yes, she is going to be 60 in the next few weeks and City People’s Assistant Society Editor, ABIOLA ORISILE, didn’t let her go until she spoke about her marriage, her love for Christ and how she met her husband. Excerpts.
How did you feel picking up this award on behalf of your darling husband?
I am more than happy and it is a pleasure to be here. As I said, he would have loved to here for this year’s City People Award for Excellence, but he had to attend to some things and this is why I have to represent him at this event. He loves Seye much and as his wife, I also use to work with him. We have been together for long and we like City People as a brand.
Your husband is very popular on Lagos social scene, but you seem to be on the quiet side, why is this so?
I am on the quiet side as you have said. I am not the outgoing type. With due respect to those who love being on the scene. I just like my space.
Many couples look up yo your marriage and want an advice on what has sustained your marriage?
It is God first and God and God. God is number one and I will say it over and again. You need to have God in your life. I was not like this before, when I was young, but as I grew older, I saw the need to focus on God. I thank God that I know him as my Lord and Saviour.
I know God now that my husband’s in the limelight and I wish I had known Him earlier. On your last question on what has sustained my marriage, another thing is being contented with everything. You should be able to stay contented with everything because that would give you peace of mind. Another thing is prayer, you should be able to have God as a friend. You would say I am talking about God, God, God. This is because He has been my strength in all I do. Then love is also paramount. My husband is my friend, and companion, so we love each other, trust also plays an important role in our marriage.
What drew you closer to God?
Hmm! How do I know God? My mother died many years ago and she told me about God, but I didn’t know God then. My husband is a Muslim and I am a Christian. He respects my faith and won’t force me to be a Muslim, but I didn’t even want to do anything. I was ignorant then, but I thank God that God found me. He saw that I was getting lost and He found me. I used to listen a lot to Pastor Tunde Bakare and later I started reading foreign Pastors’ books and I read a book of a popular Pastor from Singapore and I was touched and that was how I gave my life to Christ. I thank God that He found me.
You are going to be 60 soon. You don’t look it, what is the secret?
It is God’s favour and kindness (Smiles). It is His grace, which is sufficient for me.
Can you describe your husband in a few words?
If I start to describe him, we may not leave here today. He is my bestfriend. He is nice to a fault. I am not saying this because he is my husband. He is a man without flaws. You can’t pin anything bad or evil thing on him. People who are close to him would tell you that he is a man of the people. He loves to see people smile.
How did you meet your husband?
I met my husband in far away America over 38 years ago. He had finished schooling and I was almost rounding off my course. We got married when he was 24 years and I was 22 years old.
Would you say his good look attracted you to him?
No, though he has a good look, but what attracted us to each other was beyond that. He is caring, he is generous and to crown it all, he is humble. He is too much.
Where are you from?
I am from Ogun State, precisely from Ibara Abeokuta.
What do you call your husband?
I called him Gbenga, when we were much younger. People call him Bariyu and I used to ask, don’t you have another name, he said Gbenga. So I called him Gbenga when we were much younger but now, we have names which we call each other.
Can you please explain more on the secret of a successful marriage?
It is peace of mind. What I mean is, give yourself peace of mind. See and do as if you didn’t see. Overlook some things also. Love your husband and take good care of him. Now my children are doing well and I feel blessed.
What were you doing before you retired from public service?
I was working with Federal Service Commission and I retired in 2005. I am into private service now and we thank God.
What do you do at your leisure time?
I am a Daystar fanatic. I listen to their programmes much. I also read much.
How do you intend to celebrate your 60th birthday?
I have everything underwrap. I’ve got every reason to praise God.
