Home Dating & Romance Help! I’m In Love With My Lover’s Friend…

Help! I’m In Love With My Lover’s Friend…

by Wale Lawal
Ask Dr Love

Good day Doctor Love, my problem is that I’m in love with my boyfriend’s friend. I actually love my guy but I found myself falling in love with his friend. Now, my guy has discovered that I’m dating his friend and he’s very angry, but his friend is much better than him. Please, help me, what do I do now? -080674975****

My dear, you didn’t tell me your age. I would’ve loved to know how old you are, it will help me understand your situation better. I don’t condone young girls like you jumping from one guy to the other, forgetting that you owe yourself the responsibility to keep your dignity intact as a woman. What you do not seem to realize is that your boyfriend’s that you’re now dating will neither respect you nor give you the sort of love and affection you’re looking for. He may look like he’s giving you all that now, but believe me, is doing all that because of what he’s hoping to get from you or already getting from your body. Once he gets what he wants and he’s had his fill, he’s off. Remember he knows you dated his friend and you two probably got sexually intimate, so what would be his pride having you as his girl when he knows his friend ‘has been there too’? Mark my words, at the end of the day, his guy will drop you like piece of trash and the two friends will carry on with their friendship and make you an object of ridicule. You want my advice, if you haven’t gotten sexually intimate with your new guy, go back to your old boyfriend or you simply leave the two friends and walk away.

Hello, Dr. Love, my name’s Mary. I need your help. I do not enjoy sex with my guy and he’s the only one I’m dating. I don’t want to cheat on him by testing it with another guy. Please, help me…0816881…

Dear Mary, I would’ve liked to know your age first and find out from you if your guy met you a virgin. I say this because, from your text, you sound to me like you’ve never had sex with any other man apart from your boyfriend. If that’s the case, all you need to do is discuss your feelings with your man. Let him know your frustrations. Show him the part of your body that you would like him to touch and concentrate on. If he’s also the type that pays little attention to romance and foreplay and then mounts you even before you get wet, let him know your body doesn’t react well to this. You need to have an intimate discussion with him. It should really worry him too that you’re not enjoying sexual intimacy with him, any man worth his salt should be unselfish when it comes to lovemaking. If a woman can’t feel her man, and enjoy him, then its as bad as being punished by him. Open up to him and let him know how you feel, hopefully, if he cares about how you feel, he would put aside his own pleasures and work towards satisfying you.

Hello, Mr. Wale, my name is Christy. I have a boyfriend whom I’ve been dating for four years. He is a very nice person but the problem is that we seem not to understand ourselves. We argue a lot. He has been asking me to pay him a visit ever since I visited him last year but the long distance between us is too much. I really wish to see him but my job is not giving me the chance and I don’t have the freedom to go to anywhere I want. We used to talk all the time but all that changed. And anytime I try to talk to him about it, we always end up arguing. Please, tell me what to do, I love him. Please, don’t reveal my number.

Christy, you and your man need to ‘calm down’, you hear me? I think that the strain in your long distance relationship is starting to overwhelm both of you. Long distance relationships do come with their own peculiar challenges and one of them is the pressure to be with each other after a while that you last set your eyes on each other. And once that meeting is not looking feasible in the shortest possible time, emotions begin to go up. Your guy wants to see you again. You can’t blame him for getting worked up. Now, the problem I have with your request is that you didn’t state your age and neither did you state your location and that of your guy. Having this information would’ve guided me better in offering you the appropriate advice. For instance, if you were of age, I would’ve suggested you speak to your guy about coming over to visit you and then you introduce him to your family as the guy you’re dating. Let them at least, know him. And if he’s at least sincere about his feelings for you, he shouldn’t run away from being introduced to your parents. That way, you could also tell them you wish to pay him a visit once you are able to take a few days off at your work place. But I do not know how old or mature you really are and if it would be possible for your parents to let you travel out of your base to see a man they hardly know. Try to avoid arguing too much with your man, instead, speak with him gently and let him know you also badly want to see him again but that you both need to put heads together to work out something.

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