how to cope with these challenging times

• Dr. MAY, Mental Health Physician

Dr. Maymunah Yusuf Kadiri, popularly known as Dr. May is a renowned and multiple award-winning Mental Health Physician, Advocate & Coach. She is the Medical Director and Psychiatrist-In-Chief at Pinnacle Medical Services, Nigeria’s leading and foremost Psychology and Mental Health Clinic. She is passionate about promoting mental health in schools and workplaces.

Dr. May is one of the highly sought-after resource persons when it comes to discussions around mental health. She always comes around to inspire stakeholders in the education sector during the annual Total School Support Seminar/Exhibition (TOSSE). Her session with participants this year is very exciting as they learnt a lot about stress management and how they can combine self-care and work care without any one affecting the other.

After the worthwhile session enjoyed by all, City People JAMIU ABUBAKAR (08085185886) interviewed Dr. May where she took time to give a summary of what she told her audience at the day’s seminar. It is something we can all learn from. Below are excerpts for your reading pleasure!

“My topic of discourse at today’s seminar was on self-care vis-a-vis work-care. How to maintain a healthy lifestyle. It starts from you as an individual. For me, self-care is self-preservation, not selfishness. Let us stop looking at self-care as if it has to be something you’ll be pushed to do. It has to be something you’ll be forced to do. Let it be known that you cannot operate from a place of deficit. You have to operate from a place of abundance. So self-care is paramount. It is me too, not necessarily me first.

“What I wanted to highlight more today is that there are some things that will hinder self-care or work-care. So you have to look into it. You have to do self-reflection and be more self-aware. So that you understand what your strengths are, your weaknesses, your triggers, your stressors. So that you’ll be able to manage it. So I highlighted what stress is. When you feel, oh, I’m stressed, look at the S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D. What in this word, stress, is making you feel stressed? Could it be you, which is an S? Could it be T, which is trauma, which is unresolved trauma? Could it be the R, which is a relationship issue? Could it be the E, which is economic or financial? The second S, which is school and work. The third S, which is sickness. Or the E, which are environmental factors that you are not in control of. Or the D, dealing with a toxic work environment or toxic team members.

“Any time you think about the word stress, look at it. And when you look at that word, you will be able to know, is it one? Is it me, or could it be trauma, or could it be economic? And then you can take calculated, intentional steps in managing it. And I rounded it up with self-care. I also highlighted what the word self-care really means. When we say self-care, some people will ask you, how? And that is why it was important for me to teach people how.  So you can break it down.

“The S in self-care is self-awareness. Be self-aware. Self-awareness makes you know yourself better; I know who I am. I know what my strengths are. I know what my weaknesses are. I can begin to do X, Y, Z. And then you can be able to manage your stress elsewhere that we talked about earlier. The E is exercise. Exercise, 30 to 45 minutes, brisk walk. Now that is what the World Health Organization recommended. It will boost your feel-good hormones, which will make you feel relaxed, feel rejuvenated, reduce your fear, reduce anxiety, and even manage mild cases of depression. The L is for limited exposure to news and social media. Be involved with news so that you know what is happening, but don’t get carried away. Embrace the JOMO syndrome, Joy of Missing Out, not the FOMO syndrome, Fear of Missing Out. Because when you are so ingrained in mindless scrolling online, and, you know, watching mainstream news and all that, it may affect you mentally. So limit it. We are not saying go away. We are not saying avoid it, but limit exposure.  The F is forgiveness. We all know that forgiveness is a gift to give yourself. Forgive yourself so that you’ll be able to forgive others. It’s part of self-care. The C is -connect with a healthy support system. You are not an Island. You can never live in isolation.

“COVID has messed us up. COVID even showed us certain things that we can do better. So connect with a healthy support system. And I emphasize that when your circle of influence is no longer helping you, feel free to fumigate and be unapologetic about it. You are neither Naija Jollof Rice nor chocolate. So please connect with a healthy support system. A is – ask for help. Ask for help when and if you need it. It’s a sign of strength. Sorrow is okay. And ask for help when and if you need it. Especially for men that have been taught that men don’t cry, man not being man. No. Ask for help. And the R- is rest and sleep. There are no accolades, no awards for the busiest person on earth. Please ask for help when and if you need it.

“The last is eating right. Make sure your plate is rainbow colored, not white and red like rice and stew. So when you know this word, you feel stressed. Ensure self-care. And this is how you can break it down. So you cannot say, oh, if you feel like you want to go for a massage, go for it. Want to go for a pedicure, manicure, go for it. Want to rest, rest. So, breaking it down, it has helped me to connect with the audience. So now they are going away with the mindset that today I’m going to start doing this. I will do it myself. I’ll make sure I create a vision. I’ll make sure I follow it. I’ll make sure I create my environment for success. And be intentional and deliberate about it.

Because at least, like I said, if you don’t take care of yourself, who will? And if it’s not now, then when?