•Reveals The Biggest Mistakes Singles Make
Didi Edet is the enterprising lady behind MatchmakerDidi.com, a successful online dating platform in Nigeria. She has been in the business for 8 years and has many success stories. An award-winning dating coach, Didi got her certification from the United States in 2015. A statistician with the National Bureau of Statistics, Didi has a first degree in Economics from the prestigious Howard University and a Masters in International Strategy from the University of St. Andrews, Scotland. In this interview with City People’s Contributing Editor, IYABO OYAWALE (08033564055), Didi talks about the biggest mistakes singles make and how to avoid them. Enjoy it!
What are the biggest mistakes singles make?
Singles make a lot of mistakes but I will just focus on three today.
One is having unrealistic expectations, some singles feel when they meet somebody, it’s going to be so easy that in about a week or two, a proposal will happen and they’ll go down the aisle, they expect dating to be stress-free. The unrealistic expectations also stems from being too picky by having a list and wanting to fit somebody into that list and once they see that the person doesn’t have one thing on their list, they feel like the person is not good enough. Basically, they are looking for the perfect person.
Second mistake is that singles fail to recognize red flags as sometimes, we get carried away by who we are on a date with and we might not recognize certain things that are important in a relationship.
Third is taking baggage with you on a first date. Baggage in this term means, the negative thoughts or effects of old relationships. This baggage might show up in ways you do not recognize; it might be as little as comparing your date to your ex or if your date does something similar to what your ex has done in the past. Like maybe orders pasta and your ex’s favorite food was pasta, you immediately group your ex and your date as the same. You unconsciously mentally check out of that date.
How can singles avoid these mistakes?
Singles can avoid these mistakes by not having unrealistic expectations, by being realistic with your expectation and not thinking that there is a perfect person out there, because you are not perfect. Instead, focus on finding the perfect person for you, not a perfect human being.
Singles should also try to not be too involved in dating that they fail to recognize red flags. Some red flags are very general and this can be a partner being rude on a date. Those are things to lookout for while dating.
Singles also need to heal before going on dates and this even pertains to divorced individuals as well because you have had a relationship in the past that did not workout for one reason or the other, so you need to make sure that you have healed from it so that you don’t treat your future relationships or future dating with that same mentality as if that person is still going to repeat the mistakes the other person did.
What should singles lookout for in potential life partners?
There are lots of things that singles should look out for but I will only mention a few.
One of which is emotional maturity, you want someone that is matured enough to understand certain emotions and know how to react in certain situations.
You also want somebody that you can connect with easily; that doesn’t make you feel like you have to walk on egg shells or you cannot be yourself around them.
You also want to understand the person’s love language so even if it is different from your love language, at least when they speak it, you will understand that that’s their own way of showing you love.
You always want to understand how a person handles anger because disagreements will happen, so, it is important to know if the person is somebody that goes quiet, if the person is somebody that shouts or if the person is somebody that gets physical, you want to know how they handle anger and how they resolve disputes in a relationship.
You want someone that has common interests with you. It’s important to have common interests because after all, you are going into a relationship together.
Relationship coaches ask singles to work on themselves before looking for their life partners, what is your take on this?
This is very important because like I said, especially divorced individuals need to work on themselves to heal because you’ve gone into a relationship you thought was for a lifetime and did not end up being for a lifetime so you need to heal and be open to the fact that things might not always workout the way you picture it to workout. everybody needs to heal from past relationships because it affects how you act in your future dating experiences.
How does MatchMakerDidi help singles?
We help singles by connecting them to other singles, that’s basically what we do. We are a connection and networking platform for singles.
What kind of singles did you create the platform for?
The platform was specifically created for singles that don’t have the time for a social life. the platform is more ideal for singles that have a nine to five or that work a lot and don’t have the time for a social life, because of that they don’t really meet people. Singles that meet people but never really meet maybe their age range maybe because they deal with a lot of younger people in wherever they go to so they don’t meet people of their age.
Why did you get into the matchmaking business?
I got into it because I saw a gap for the need in the sense that I didn’t see any platform that was catering to people that were like me, that wanted to date but also wanted privacy as well. Privacy is very important to me and I did not see a platform out there that was taking privacy as important as I would have liked it to be so I felt this need for a platform that would allow people to have privacy while they’re dating.
How has it been so far?
It has been very fulfilling. it makes me very happy when I know that we had a hand in a person’s happiness. It makes you feel like you’re part of something big. there’s a way it makes you feel that I cannot even explain.
Do you mind sharing the phenomenal story of a couple you joined together?
There was a situation where a girl was matched with some guy and she was very excited because she says he is her neighbor, they live in the same area as she had seen him walk by a lot of times and she has always wanted to talk to him but didn’t have the courage to talk to him so to be matched with him was wonderful because at least she knew that he liked her based on the platform, so it was interesting to be able to see people that admire themselves from afar but had to come all the way to a platform to actually meet because she could have stayed in that estate without ever talking to him and vice versa but the platform made that happen sooner.
We have also had an interesting case where a single mum and a single dad got married. both of them had daughters. The girls became really good friends. That story was very interesting to me because the fact that the daughters found this friendship, they just got an instant sister and friend from their parents coming together. It was very nice to see that the relationship not only affected the parents positively but also affected the daughters in a positive way because it gave them friendship and sister-hood that they didn’t have.
How do you screen users?
We screen people by using a video verification process and people have to submit a government-issued ID. we do a little bit more in-depth search when it requires that.
Have you had issues with scammers?
We have been lucky to find scammers before they even get in because they always say one thing or the other that gives them away. if you have done any job for as long as we’ve done this, you’ll be able to know the in and out of the job so doing this for a very long time has made it easier for us to see any of the scamming tactics from a mile away.
What advice do you have for the singles who are shy or busy and can’t commit?
I would advise them to come to our platform because it was specifically created for singles like this. It was created for the busy individual that wants to date and wants privacy as well.
I would advise the singles that cannot commit to find a dating therapist to help find out the reason why they can’t commit to help them get through that hurdle.
Website: www.matchmakerdidi.com
Number (whatsapp): +2348038095991
Address: 33, Road 14, Admiralty way, lekki phase 1 and 3680 Wilshire blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90010
Email: Matchmakerdidi@gmail.com
Blog: www.matchmakerdidi.wordpress.com
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