A lot of people are not fond of their bosses. Okay scratch that, a lot of people hate their bosses. Maybe because the boss is too bossy or he doesn’t appreciate their efforts or he doesn’t pay well and on time too. It could also be because they hate he is the boss. ‘Why is he on top and not me? He isn’t even as smart as I am. He doesn’t even speak good English.’ For some, it’s just outright hate. No reason. We are evil like that.
Whatever we feel for our boss; hate, love, anger, indifference, we all have one thing in common. We want him to like us.
We want him to think of us as the best at what we do. We want him to feel employing us is the best decision he ever made and nobody can do our jobs better. I want that too.
Here are ways to make your boss fall hopelessly head over heels in love with you even if he is married. Career-wise of course!
1) By all means avoid his ass
Flat, fat, long, full, round, whatever shape or size it came in, never kiss his ass. Your instincts might tell you to flatter him, follow him around, do and say anything to be on his side, be eager to please him and all. Please, don’t. You’ll only make a fool of yourself and be taken for granted. He probably won’t value your efforts either. Besides, nobody likes an ass kisser, definitely not your colleagues. It could make you be on their bad side. Now, we don’t want that do we?
2) Do your work
This is the most important weapon you have. Wedge it well. You see the reason you were employed, never take it for granted. This is the best way to get him drooling. Be the best at what you do. Always meet the target. Passing it will be an extra point for you. This is primary and everything else is secondary. Do it well and every other things shall be added unto you!
3) Be smart
Nobody really likes dumb people, unless they are family and we don’t have a choice. With him, be very smart and articulate. Always remember your discussion in the past, especially names. Try as much as possible not to forget people’s names and other vital things when it comes to work. If possible write it down in a notepad
4) Massage his ego
This is different from ass kissing. As an ass kisser, you’ll do everything and anything. Massaging his ego means, make him feel good about himself. Make him more confident. Laugh at his jokes when they come. Nod your head and appear very attentive when he is talking even if what he is saying doesn’t make any sense. Commend him. You may think who the fuck is he? True, isn’t he just a mere human like us all. Now, let’s rewind. Who is he? He is the man that puts food on your table. Make him feel good.
5) Ask people who have been there before you
Ask questions. How does this system work? What is the priority of our boss? What does he like? What does he not tolerate etc.
With all these, you are on your way to a great ‘love affair’ with your boss! As always, you are welcome!
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