How To Maximise Singlehood (3) •From Apostle JOHNSON SULEMAN’s Book On Relationship

PACKAGING
Your packaging as a lady is important. Nobody can price you beyond your packaging. The first packaging I would like to talk about is self-esteem.
Some ladies throw themselves at men; yes, men may appear anxious but deep down they are very cautious. I get very upset when I see ladies who have no values, who don’t celebrate virtue.
Men value what is scarce. It’s important you place value on yourself. Scarcity creates value. Any lady who believes she has to sleep with a man to keep him, has three major problems. First, she does not fear God, second, she doesn’t believe in herself, and third she is not future oriented. A lady has to be bold enough to ask any man coming around her, what he wants. Whoever cannot define himself will defile you. If he tells you what he wants, don’t be sentimental. If you can’t give it say so. In marriage, it is detrimental to be sentimental.
In as much as I have told you who you shouldn’t marry, there are things I must tell you to watch, and, possibly, correct in your man or else the future might be bleak. I don’t advise distant courtship. It is not wrong, but risky. There are some risks not worth taking. The vacuum of love is filled by some presence. Most men always talk about their former partners. It is wrong. In any present relationship, don’t bring up your past. No matter what happened, let it go. Your past is your history; your future is your destiny. I will like to digress a little bit. There is something people call “THE WILL OF GOD”.
People say there is something called the missing rib, that until you find your rib, things might not be right. I am sorry to disappoint you because every man’s rib is intact; not one is missing. God never leaves a vacuum. ‘And when He took a rib to make Eve from Adam, He was only emphasizing how important the connection between the man and the woman is, and proving to the world that the man is to be beside the woman. Also, to prove to the woman, the law of submission because the woman came from the man, The rib issue only explains how the first woman (Eve) was created and nothing more. Then, what is the will of God? “This is the thing which the LORD doth command
concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, Let them marry to whom they think best; only to the family of the tribe of their father shall they marry.” -Numbers 36:6
There is no special person kept somewhere for you, like we have been made to believe. Anyone that fits into the above category qualifies for marriage. The Bible says they should marry who they think best and that speaks of compatibility and of the tribe of their father. Your tribe is Zion and God is your father. Meaning, he must be compatible and be born-again. The Bible says:“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. ” Proverbs 18:22. Here are some compatibility checks;
He didn’t say he that findeth his wife but a wife. So there’s no special woman kept, people have been delayed because they want to see a dream etc. Demons and satanic forces because of ignorance have delivered some. Don’t forget the two qualities: compatibility and genuine salvation. If it’s not working now, it might likely not work. Some people are suffering now because they saw the incompatibility and ignored it. 38% of divorced couples in America saw the incompatibility and ignored it. 38% of divorced couple in America saw the danger signals and still proceeded, believing they could handle it. When God calls a woman a helpmeet, it means a compatible partner; religious compatibility, academic compatibility etc.
I am not saying God cannot reveal but that should not be the yardstick for picking a partner. There must be family compatibility. You determine the love he has for you by the love he shows those you love. That is why I speak against distant relationship. As you attend Christian functions and programmes together, you understand him and he understands you. To check and know if you are compatible, you must first discover yourself. Until you discover yourself, you can’t discover your love. You must genuinely know what you don’t like. Self-worth is the center of mental health. To look down on yourself is to stay down for life. You are of more value than sparrow. Poor self-esteem is a mediocre anatomy. Signs of poor self-esteem include, no purpose, no integrity, unusually possessive, stupidly jealous, running others down etc. Having sex or sleeping with a partner is a strong sign of poor self-esteem.
Rushing into marriage is a sign of poor self-esteem as rush produces hypocrisy. Most men are sex-driven; women are home-driven.
Settle these issues before settling down: Marriage doesn’t solve emotional problems. If you are a flirt, before you get married, solve it. If you think marriage will solve it, you are joking. It will
not. Most men pay for sex; most women sex for pay. Don’t esteem sex and make it your criteria for pinning down a man. Sex can get you through the
night, only reality will take you through the day. If sex promotes love, then all prostitutes would have been loved. But you can testify that prostitutes are only used.
I decree your proper drive placement in destiny by fire. The yoke of immorality is
broken from your life and destiny in Jesus name.
Place on yourself utmost premium of self-preservation. Uncommon value is what promotes unusual virtues. God’s ideal lady has God as her pursuit. She believes in herself. Until you like yourself, you can’t love another. It’s so important. Self-worth is the center of mental recovery.
Don’t allow the rush syndrome catch up with you, for everything God made, there is a spare. And God made all things in pairs. If you are female, there is a male for you. Timing, God’s Word, God’s Work, prayer, calmness etc will bring your pair by fire.
PRAY THESE PRAYERS:
‘I release my pair by fire. Whatever sin has done to my destiny, blood of Jesus, speak mercy for me. Release my compatible life partner in my direction by fire in Jesus name. Lord arise; provoke my marriage in the spirit and manifest it in the physical, in Jesus name.’
MARRIAGE IS FOR THE MATURED
The reason of a matter, when properly understood, produces infallible results. Most marriages end up in divorce, separation and the likes because many people prepare for wedding, only few prepare for marriage. They are not matured. Wedding is one day, but marriage is forever. It takes maturity to have and keep a stable home. The Bible says: ”And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother,
and shall cleave wife to his: and they twain shall be one flesh?” –Matthew 19:5
Marriage is for the matured. The Bible says “A MAN” not a boy. So anytime you are thinking of marriage ask yourself, am I matured for this’? A lot
of people think that marriage is the act of escaping from one’s parents and moving into liberty. Soon, kids would start coming, you have to attend to the needs of your husband, and your wife would depend on you to survive etc. all of these demands and calls for maturity. We have so many kids who desire to get married.
The first criterion for marriage is maturity. When I talk of maturity, I don’t mean age because you can be old and be immature. I am talking of responsibility. Responsibility is seen by the way you respond to ability. I will like us to consider what I call “Maturity Checks” that will facilitate an
unbreakable, an enviable and a glorious home.
-to be continued