•Talks To City People About Her Life
+How She Met Her Husband 38 Yrs Ago
Olori Olayinka Balogun is the beautiful wife of the newly crowned Olubadan of Ibadanland, Oba Mohood Olalekan Balogun Okunmade 11. She is the first wife of the highly cerebral monarch. Olori Olayinka is a total package; she is beautiful, intelligent and compassionate. She is a Specialist Nurse back in the United Kingdom where she has lived for over 25 years. Her exposure, training and family background have really helped her a great deal. She is a virtuous woman who has successfully built a career path for herself. But in spite of all, she has never allowed anything to affect her marriage and her home. These attributes must have attracted Oba Lekan Balogun to Olori Olayinka when they met over 38 years ago. She is been able to manage the homefront despite the fact that she lives abroad. She loves her husband and always takes good care of him. Her children have all turned out well. They are well-cultured and properly trained. She strongly believes in the family as the foundation of every society. Little wonder then that she has taken a special interest in building other women. Through her NGO, Unicorn Rehabilitation & Respite Centre, many have been uplifted. And that is what gives her ultimate joy. All these and many more were part of the discussion, as City People’s Correspondent, DARE ADENIRAN engaged Olori Olayinka Balogun, shortly before the husband’s coronation as the 42nd Olubadan. It was an exclusive and quite revealing moment with her. Read the excerpts of the interview.
It seems you are a bit reserved. Not much has been heard about you before now, tell us about yourself, ma?
I’m Olori Olayinka Balogun. On the contrary, am not reserved. Am a very versatile person. The only reason you have not heard much about me is that I live in the UK. But am actually the first wife of the Olubadan of Ibadanland, Oba Mohood Olalekan Ishola Balogun Okunmade 11.
What do you do back in the UK?
Professionally, I’m a Nurse. I run an NGO and do other things business-wise. That is why I said am versatile.
What can you say about your husband, the new Olubadan of Ibadanland?
Am very happy about the development. It took a long time. I could remember when I met him, he has not even gotten into the lineage. My first son is about 35 years old. So, it means I have spent about 37 years of my life with him. Am 63 now.
How did you meet Kabiyesi and what was the attraction?
Well, we met in the hospital where I was working. He was very persistent. I looked after him and when he was discharged he started looking for me. I didn’t really want any relationship because he is a Muslim and I came from a Christian background. He sent one of his aides to me, it was like a situation whereby you are living in A and you told somebody you live in B. Thinking that he won’t be able to locate you. I just told him am living somewhere here. But fortunately and unfortunately for me, he started looking for me. He went to where I told him I was living and saw some of my colleagues there. They redirected him back to where I was staying, and that was where the story began.
What has the experience like being married to a politician and now a traditional ruler been?
Well, every marriage has its own story. No marriage is perfect. It’s a union between two people. We have our differences, we have our ups and downs. But I love my husband despite everything. He is jovial, witty and brilliant. He has a good command of English, which actually attracted me to him initially. He is eloquent. I like to hear his beautiful voice and from him, I have picked up some of my own vocabulary. So, he has really impacted me, making speeches and doing a lot of things. Am glad am still with him. I never left him. I live in the diaspora but am planning to come back to play my role as the first wife.
How easy or difficult has it been for you to live abroad while your husband is here?
That has never been a big deal because I come home frequently. The only time I couldn’t come was during the COVID-19 lockdown. I have always been there, we talk every day. He makes you laugh which is why you have to keep going back for him.
Tell us the other side of Kabiyesi that people don’t know?
My husband is generous and kind to a fault. He can take out his eyes for people. He gives a lot without looking back. He spends money as he gets it. I remember when I first started with him when I make his breakfast and I expect him to eat. Then he is like passing it on to this person and saying, I don’t have to eat. I would be like what is going on here? Why would you give your food to visitors and go without food? But having done that several times, am like him now. I will actually give anything to anybody selflessly without looking back. So I picked that from him and I grow up with it and am running with it. In fact, am running an NGO now because of my passion to just help and help.
What is the greatest lesson you’ve learnt from him apart from generosity?
He’s very, very optimistic. This Obaship he believes he is going to clinch it. He won’t stop singing “Ipo ola dara o, Ipo ola. Ipo yan wumi lopolopo mo si ma debe o. Bori ba n joba lola o, mo si ma de be o”. There is no day he won’t sing that to my hearing. So, it didn’t come as a surprise but am just thinking, oh God! There is power in the tongue.
What do you think has been keeping the marriage going all this while?
Laughs, jokes. He is compassionate and intelligent. When he speaks I like to listen and most importantly, he is very understanding and decent. He’s not judgemental. I wish he could be a lawyer. Sometimes he’s looking you think he is not seeing but he can actually see everything. And it is only when he speaks that you will realize that.
Has ever been a time you felt like quitting the marriage?
No. The only thing is that as a politician, a traditional ruler, there are lots of women around him. Don’t forget the fact that he’s a Muslim. Right from the word go, I knew he could marry more than one wife. I see my husband as my brother, father and mentor. So I understand him and cherish him for who he is. You also have to be accommodating to be around my husband. If you are the jealous type, he can’t deal with that. So for me to be open-minded, accommodating, I have been able to sustain my marriage.
In what ways do you think all these qualities you have mentioned about the Kabiyesi will translate to development for Ibadan and Oyo State generally?
He’s quite intelligent. He knows a lot of people. The only thing is that you may now see a lot of people around him that are not genuine. And because of his age and health, we don’t want to put pressure. He might have been slowed down but he has his full mental capacity and he can actually allocate roles to people. Because if it’s his old him, he will do anything at any time. We want him to stay longer and healthy. So, he will try and look for good people around him, make use of them, allocate responsibilities to them and they can run with his ideas.
You will automatically resume a new leadership position and more responsibilities as the first wife of Olubadan of Ibadanland. What should we expect from you?
Women are very powerful. We are multi-tasking and compassionate nature. As a woman, you can empower a family because a woman is at the centre of that family unit. You have to look after your children, make sure they grow well. You have to look after the husband and make sure the family unit is a good one. Your children are cultured, you need to emphasize that. So, basically, you want to see that from every family unit, how to empower the women at the centre and make sure the whole family is mentored and empowered to become something. When a woman teaches her children values, you expect them to go out there, into the community and become good. And when you empower different family units, then you are looking at the community as a whole to give, especially this Nigeria that we are, values. We want to unveil that, we want to support women to have good jobs. When you have a good job, you are teaching your children not to go out there to steal, not to lazy around. You are telling them that they got to work hard for their money. If you do that, you empower the women and they in return will empower their children and by so doing, the whole community is empowered.
Would you consider relocating back to Nigeria now that your husband has ascended the throne of his forefathers?
I will definitely relocate back home. I have been living in the UK due to some circumstances for the past 25 years. But I didn’t leave my husband. I have always been coming home. Obviously, even while I was here he has other wives. Again, from where I was, I have been running the house. I was able to get people around to support him and I have been working alongside the lady that is looking after him now. In fact, we are cool, there is no rancour. The only thing is there should be respect for everybody. I respect you, you respect me.
Your NGO should focus more on Ibadan now that you are planning to relocate?
Yes, am going for it now. I have been running it independently and solely for about 3 years even though I live in the UK, I still manage it. But the issue of staff is the only limitation I have. But now that am coming home, am 63, am getting closer to retirement time but not tired (laughs). So, I will concentrate on it fully now. Because in Nigeria now, we need a lot of NGOs to support people. If I make that move now, I know that am ready to do a lot of things and put things in order. All I want to do is to help anybody; underprivileged, the needy and all. So am actually putting my hand in a lot of things at the moment. I’m very passionate about artisans. They finish their training, they can’t afford to buy machines or equipment and then have to stay with their masters and probably serve for another 3 or 4 years, trying to put money together to be able to stand on their own. It is bad.
There must be a secret if you are still looking this beautiful at 63, with glowing skin, trimmed body and all. What is responsible for your youthful looks?
There is absolutely no secret. Let me say it is the grace of God. When I was younger, I used to be a sporty lady. I was playing basketball and later, volleyball. In fact, I had a gold medal. When you are working tirelessly and you are an active public person, you can’t age like that. You have got to maintain your muscles and everything. That is the key thing. As a nurse, you are working tirelessly. In the UK, you can’t be lazy around, you have got to move, work well. All these have really helped me. Maybe when I finally relocate to Nigeria, I might put on weight. Another thing is that we are like that in my family. I still have my mum, she is almost 90. We just have glowing skin even our men. It runs in the family.
Tell us more about your family background and other things people may not know about you?
I’m from Iree in Osun State but married to an Ibadan man. Both of my parents are from Iree. Am the third born of 6 children. I lived with my aunty and the husband from age 6. Because my father was actually the one who sent his siblings to school. He was the first son of their parents. He is Pa Eniola Lagunju, the man behind the popular Olaoluwa Chemist in Osogbo. So, he sent his siblings to school because in those days they don’t believe in sending female children to school. That was why he was a bit older before he married. So, when it was time for the sister to appreciate his efforts, she requested 3 of his children for her to take care of. She took first, second and third. She put me in school alongside my first cousins at age 6. I grew up living with her and attended United Primary School, Ayetoro in Ogun State. After then, I went to Comprehensive High School, Ayetoro. From there I went to Baptist High School, Ede because my aunty and the husband relocated. I was later enrolled in nursing school because my father was a pharmacist and wanted one of his children to be in that line. I came to U.I for my Nursing Degree and then I did my midwifery. I later did Health Education, Advance Health Education at the University of Ibadan. I thereafter started working at UCH as Staff Nurse, where I met Kabiyesi. And Kabiyesi being a politician then said he wouldn’t want his wife to be doing that kind of work. I have to follow my passion and went into the fashion designing business. That was what I was doing before I relocated to the UK. On getting to England, I went back into my profession. I became a Specialist Nurse in Tissue Viability. That is anything to do with wounds. I later became a Specialist Nurse in Lymphedema. That is dealing with swelling in any part of the body. Of course, when you heal a wound of 10-13 years, you are impacting lives and that is what makes me happy. As I’m getting older, I started looking after older women as well as working in a nursing home.
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