HELLO, DOCTOR LOVE, I have a problem I want to discuss with you. I’m sorry I won’t tell you my name and please don’t publish my email address. I am a married woman in my mid-thirties. I got married to my husband in November last year but never got intimate with him because he was largely out of the country. Looking back now, I think it was a really grave mistake. It first started on our wedding night. After the whole celebration, the noise had gone down, and we had our side of the duplex to ourselves, it was time for my husband and I to get to the ‘real’ business of the day. I was really looking forward to that moment and just couldn’t wait to climb out of my wedding gown and eat up my handsome sweetheart. He seemed quite ready for me too judging by the way he feasted his eyes on my firm-looking boobs and well-rounded bum, both of which hadn’t felt a man’s touch in ages. You can therefore imagine my shock, disappointment and pain when the whole thing barely lasted for five minutes! At first, I’d attributed it to the stress and fatigue of the past weeks leading to our wedding, and I was hopeful things will change. Nothing has changed, Wale, if anything, I think he just keeps getting worse. Soon, I fear it will get to a point my man would mount me, and before I can feel his penetration, he’ll climb down and tell me he’s done. What can I do, Wale, I am suffering inside. I have tried to express my pain to my husband and he keeps assuring me he’ll do something about it. To be honest with you, Wale, I love my husband and can’t even think of cheating on him, but still, I don’t know how much of this torture my heart can take. Help, doctor Love, what can I do?
MY DEAR, you have no idea how much your mail touched me. Even if you didn’t ask, I probably would’ve concealed your identity and protect you from the backlash that I’m sure would follow once the readers get to read your story. Its very easy for people to judge very easily even when they have absolutely no idea what you’re going through. Some would be quick to say, ‘is sex all that matters to her? Doesn’t she love her husband enough to endure and put up with his below-par sexual performance? Or is she some nymphomaniac that cannot be satisfied by one man? People surely will talk, but the truth is, they will never know how serious this is. First, I will plead that you be very patient with your husband, this must be a lot more difficult for him than you can imagine. If you’re not careful how you go about grumbling about his inability to drive you nuts in bed, you might be slowly killing him inside without realizing it. Let him know you love and care for him regardless of the fact that he’s not quite taking charge of his business in the bedroom department. You guys must talk about this together. He must take the bold step of meeting with a medical doctor who can examine and recommend for your husband medications that will address his condition. In the meantime, you can also help by letting him know exactly how to turn you on, where to touch and get you flying in another planet. If you guys work together on this and put your mind to it, you will surely get some results. Assure you love him and nothing will stand between you two, sexual satisfaction or not. You didn’t even say if you guys already had a child, but it’s alright. Please, seek the services of a medical expert and keep your love burning strong.
HELLO, DEAR DOCTOR LOVE, my name is Agnes. I am twenty-one years old and I am in a relationship with a guy that’s ten years older than me. We have been dating for over a year now, but within that one year, its been a mixture of pain and joy for me. One week, this guy is making me happy, the next few weeks that would follow, he is giving me heartache. And the major problem is that he is a serial cheater. I have caught him cheating on me several times and all he does is beg for forgiveness afterwards. The last one he did hurt me the most – I just found out he’s been sleeping with one of my friends! And as usual, he is begging for forgiveness again. I love this guy, Wale. Maybe it’s because he’s the one who deflowered me about a year ago, or perhaps it’s something deeper than that, all I know is that I love him to bits. But sadly, he doesn’t feel same way about me, all he knows and wants is sex. What do I do now, Doctor Love? Please, do not publish my number.
DEAR AGNES, I feel your pain. Reading through your mail, I could tell it’s coming from a lady who truly loves her man with all her heart. Sadly, you are loving the wrong kind of man. Let’s face it, Agnes, this guy doesn’t give a hoot about your feelings. He is taking advantage of the fact that you’re in love with him. And to make matters worse, he’s a player, that’s something that’s too much for you to handle, considering that you’re still inexperienced when it comes to dealing with men. While you’re staying faithful to him, he’s hopping into bed with any skirt available, even if it’s your friend that’s wearing that skirt. The way I see it, if you have a pretty sister, don’t let her meet your man, otherwise……So, my piece of advice is this, give this guy a break. Stay away from him for some time and let him evaluate your relationship with him and be sure it’s you he wants or he still wants to sample every babe that comes his way. If you ask me, I’d say you simply walk away from the relationship, it’s obvious this guy will give you nothing but emotional pain. But because I know you love him like crazy, I won’t ask you to walk away. Just tell him to give you a break, allow you time to think and access the whole relationship. That way, you can also study him and see if he’s changed and ready to turn a new leaf. Best wishes.
DOCTOR LOVE, please, reply me urgently. I have been dating my man for three years now but his ex-girlfriend still wants him back. Although he says nothing will make him go back to her, I am not comfortable with the way they have been communicating on the phone, its getting too much for my comfort! Wale, I’m not happy, please, what should I do? My name is Peace from Port-Harcourt…..07031977…..
DEAR PEACE, I can understand your fears. This is an issue that, oftentimes, rears its head between couples. I can only ask you to calm down and take things easy. If your man says he does not want to take his ex back, then you must believe him. You could also let him know your fears with his ex’s renewed interest in you. But do not push it too much, else he’ll begin to see you as a nag. Three years is enough time for you to know the kind of man you’re dating. If you know him well enough, you should be able to tell if he’s being sincere with you when he said there’s nothing going on between them. My advice is until he proves otherwise, take your mind off the issue and concentrate on making your relationship with him even stronger.
READ ALSO: THE DIRTY PROPOSITION!
