Here’s what the four gents had to say in their own words:
Picking fights in public
Someone who constantly wants to pick a fight in public is toxic to the relationship. I feel strongly about this because the people around us would pass judgement on the situation and there’s no way of ever taking it back.
I also think it’s a respect thing. This is something I’d never do to a partner, and it’s something neither of us deserve. Over and above that, it’s humiliating.
This isn’t a principle I maintain only where romantic relationships are concerned; it’s also one I believe to be true in the workplace. As a boss, you should never have verbal altercations or scream at your subordinates in front of everyone. It’s such clear disregard for the person, and borders on malice, rather than trying to get a point across.
Being compared to an ex
Constantly comparing me to an ex is an instant deal-breaker – all it tells me is that you’re not over that person, and that you’re not ready to be in this relationship.
I’d definitely confront her about it and express my concern. But if it continued, it’s not something I’d be able to stand for.
Once you’re committed and have both your feet in a new relationship, you shouldn’t be thinking of the past or of who you’ve been with. Yes, there are lessons we all take from previous relationship, but looking for a previous partner in me is a sign that the person hasn’t moved on.
Confessing that you’ve cheated/are cheating
This may sound a bit out of place, but I truly believe that a partner who confesses that they’ve cheated on me or that they’re currently cheating is only telling me to hurt me. Had I not been told, I wouldn’t have to live my life knowing what happened when I thought we were both happy. My life would be torn apart by something I didn’t have to know.
If I don’t know it’s happening or I never found out that it happened, I believe that out of respect and sensitivity for me, you should keep it to yourself – take it to the grave.
A negative energy
I can’t deal with a partner that carries a strong negative energy. The opposite of a person with a negative energy would be someone who’s full of energy, is positive and wants to [improve themselves]. Someone with a negative energy is constantly self-loathing, is always in a negative space, always has something negative to say and is never optimistic about anything.
I want to be in a relationship in which we look to build and grow together, one where we constantly lift each other up, not bring each other down.
